Talking About the Thing I Don’t Want to Talk About

15 Oct

~~Before I start getting all whiny and complainy, I want to sincerely thank each and every one of you who commented, tweeted, emailed, and otherwise cheered me on for the Wineglass Marathon.  I want to give every single one of you a huge hug and make sure you know how much I so fully appreciate your kind words and support~~



I am still not really ready to write any sort of recap.

For those of you who may not know, I DNF-ed my goal marathon.  I strained my hamstring the Tuesday before the race doing a tune up workout.  I pulled out (heh heh) just shy of mile 21 due to severe pain in my left hip, left calf, right knee, and right hamstring.


Nice job, Heather’s lower body.  Nice job.


One of my friends, almost in disbelief, asked me if I couldn’t have even tried to walk/jog it in for the last 5 miles.

The truth is – yes.  I could have.

My overall enthusiasm for doing so at that point was about a -129.68 on a scale of 1-10.  I’m not sure why.  It’s easy to say now that I did it to prevent really injuring myself and make an attempt at capitalizing on my fitness for another marathon in 6-10 weeks.  That’s what I’ve been telling people.  That’s not really what I was thinking at the time, though.  I saw no point in just finishing to finish.  I’m kind of an obnoxious brat, I guess.  That’s not to say I didn’t care; I started crying the second I climbed into the car and I didn’t stop for most of the ride home.


I have mixed feelings about the DNF – part of me really regrets it, and part of me still thinks it was the right call.  Right now I’m focusing on figuring out why the hell I keep having the same “injuries” resurface (I’m still hesitant to call my issues injuries – a broken fucking leg is an injury, I just have muscles/tendons/fascia that refuse to play nice).  I have already had a couple appointments with a chiropractor who came highly recommended: he is also a runner and the discussions we’ve had so far have made a lot of sense, so I am hopeful.  I’m working on a “comeback” plan, if you will: if I’m anything, I’m a planner, so this has been comforting to me.

I’ve also been drinking a lot of beer and basically eating all of the carbs.  Because fuck you it makes me feel better, that’s why.


At the end of the day, I realize I’m being a full-on drama queen over this.  People in the world have real problems while I’m crying because I fucked up a race and might have to take a few weeks off from running.  I also realize that a lot of my goddamn problems originate in my own brain: STOP TAKING YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY, SELF.

Anyway, I do intend to talk more about my experiences at the chiropractor (spoiler alert: ART and Graston hurt like eight bitches on a bitch boat) and about what the hell is actually wrong with me.  And maybe I’ll tell you more about the race someday … if you supply me with enough beers first.


8 Responses to “Talking About the Thing I Don’t Want to Talk About”

  1. Laura October 16, 2013 at 9:42 am #

    You’re not being a drama queen, you have been struggling with issues for a while now and that’s enough to frustrate and upset anyone. I will provide you with beer, but we don’t need to talk about the race…fair? 🙂

    I’m really glad you got into a new doc and that he seems to be helping and not just saying “don’t run”, I also know that graston and ART hurt like a MoFo so I feel you on that, it helps to swear while they do it…no joke.

    • upstaterunner October 16, 2013 at 8:37 pm #

      One of the first questions I had for him was “you’re cool with swearing, right?” Would’ve been a deal breaker for sure.

  2. Meghan Loftus October 16, 2013 at 10:01 am #

    It sounds like DNFing was the smart decision. Running 5 more miles on out-of-whack legs could have thrown off/pulled/otherwise injured parts of your body that are still healthy. There’s no way to know that for sure, I guess, but that’s what I would tell myself. You did the right thing! And now you’re on the road to recovery.

    Besides, conditions at Wineglass were pretty crappy, no? Not the best day to be gunning for a PR. You’ll have a better day. Hang in there!

    • upstaterunner October 16, 2013 at 8:41 pm #

      You know the funny (in an ironic, not a ha-ha way) thing is that a lot of my friends who ran were about 20-30 minutes off their goal times due to conditions – it was very humid, and about 20 degrees warmer than it typically is. I’m sure that was all a factor for me, and I probably started too aggressively given the weather. Would it have made a difference? That’s all part of the turmoil I’m experiencing in my brain right now 🙂

      • Meghan Loftus October 17, 2013 at 9:24 am #

        Yep, my friend who ran was hoping to break 4 and did a 4:24. In my experience, warm weather will crush you every time. No matter how well-trained you are, unless you did all your marathon pace and long runs in the same conditions (or hotter), you’re screwed.

        The joys of the marathon! Building up for months and months only to have a single day of bad weather mess everything up. I guess it just makes the days that do go well even better.

  3. HollieisFueledByLOLZ October 16, 2013 at 8:53 pm #

    You deserve to whine and complain till the cows come home. Point blank, that stinks. I am the same way-I see no point finishing just to finish. Sure you could have walked/run it to the finish line but would you have felt happier? Probably not, it wouldn’t take away the pain or your injury wouldn’t magically go away.

    I am glad you got into that chiropractor and I hope he is really able to help. Also don’t even start me on how bad I felt the weather was god awful during the race. Wineglass is at the ONLY effing optimal weather in NY and for that weekend to be crap?

    I can’t wait to see you.

  4. Kristy October 20, 2013 at 10:57 pm #

    I think you did the right thing on stopping! Sure you probably could have walked, but if you’re anything like me, you prob. wouldn’t have been able to make yourself walk the rest of the way, and would have kept trying to run. Plus, since it was a goal race, having that time recorded with all of the walking, would be heartbreaking as well.
    Bitch away!


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