I was going to call this post “Bob Loblaw’s
Law Boob Blog” but I thought Mitch Hurwitz might sue me. Actually he might sue me anyway just for saying this. I don’t know, I don’t know the law. I do know that if you don’t get the reference, I am disappointed in you.
ANYWAY. This is a post/series I’ve been meaning to write for a while, but have been hesitant because a) talking about bras is likely to lead to weirdo internet traffic and b) product reviews tend to be quite polarizing among the health and fitness community.
I decided to throw caution to the wind in this case because the subject is – bad puns aside – near and dear to my heart. My name is Heather and my boobs are … complicated. By complicated, I mean that I have a small band size and a large cup size. I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not alone because I’ve read running forums and product reviews on Amazon and comments on blog posts and guess what? There are a ton of women out there who are athletic AND have large-ish breasts. I’ve felt pretty alone in this though, because sports bra manufacturers just don’t seem to get it.
When I first started running, I very accidentally stumbled across a sports bra from Under Armour that I really liked a lot. Liked so much, in fact, that I bought 6 of them and never even entertained the thought of trying something else.
Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. At this point, even though I still wear some of the original 6, they are stretched out and prone to chafing and smoosh my chest in a weird way that they never did before. Of course Under Armour doesn’t make these bras anymore. So I’ve started looking for a replacement sports bra.
Nike, Champion, Moving Comfort, Oiselle, Victoria’s Secret, Shock Absorber, Saucony, Panache, Lululemon. I’ve tried them all, and I figure I might as well pass my experiences on to you in hopes that you can avoid some of the frustration I’ve felt while trying to find a sports bra that works for me.
In order to do this properly, I need to tell you what I look for in a sports bra: made in my size, fits well, easy to put on, doesn’t chafe, compression (I hate feeling bouncy), cute colors, not too expensive. The day that I find a bra that fits all of those criteria is the day I will propose.
So what exactly did I like about the Under Armour sports bras?
- The sizing system. They were sold in S/M/L modulated by cup size (i.e. a size S-A/B was smaller than a size S-DD, but a size S-DD was still smaller in the band and shoulders than a size L-DD).
- Easy, pullover style. Since purchasing a DD didn’t also automatically mean a larger band, the fit was still solid.
- Not hideous. I mean, yeah, these are basic looking bras but they also don’t look like a medieval torture device (I’m looking at you, Enell).
- While they didn’t do a lot to “life and separate” they were compressive enough (when they were new) to keep me in place and not feel floppy.
With that in mind, I intend to post periodic reviews against these critera of my extensive collection of sports bras – both the bummers and my current favorites. As I said, I’m hoping that my experience can possibly help others out there in the quest for the perfect sports bra. And if I ever find that mystical, magical sports bra – you better believe I’ll be shouting about it from the rooftops. Hopefully this won’t alienate any dude readers, or bore anyone who doesn’t have an issue finding sports bras that fit (I hate you all) ((jk, I’m just really jealous)). Oh and also, mom, I’m sorry for talking about my boobs on the internet.